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How Can We Stop The Stigma of Therapy? | Jewish Connected
Menachem Schloss

I can remember my first time as a youngster going to speak to a therapist … Yes Yes Yes, I know what you’re thinking  “He has issues” or at least “He had issues,  I wonder if it was anything serious”!

According to the British Journal of Psychiatry only one third of people with a mental health issue seek psychological assistance, other studies elsewhere suggest that people who do consult will often delay treatment six to eight years. Stigma is often explained as one of the huge reasons why people will avoid going for help.

Many are putting in great efforts to ‘combat’ the issue of stigma in therapy, mostly by way of creating ‘further awareness’ of mental health issues, somehow hoping that by it being more out there, people will subsequently begin to feel more comfortable with the idea of going for help.

Last month I wrote an article in the Times of Israel titled ‘Does Mental health really need further awareness’, suggesting that further consciousness by the public is not in fact making any difference. This blog is in a way a follow up from that.

The stigma issue:

There are two main aspects within the stigma issue, one is the shame aspect – people are ashamed to share personal issues and the other is trust.

It could be said that the shame aspect is largely the fault of society in general; society tends to judge people who go for therapy in a  negative light, to the point where the phrase “you should go for therapy” is often said over as a way of an insult.

In essence, it should be obvious that people who do choose to go for therapy, do so in order to help themselves, in order to improve their lives and really are to be admired for their courage to ultimately do what it takes to improve their life. There is nothing much scarier than having to go and speak to some complete stranger about personal issues.

This brings us to the next and more important point:

The second facet that comes along with the stigma is ‘trust’. Many people do not trust that psychotherapy can effectively help…and for good reason, therapy does not always help.

But other than that, there is something which is far more blatant and obvious.

To put it plain and simply:

People do not trust therapists, in fact, most people seek to avoid therapists and it has little to do with the fact that they dislike being analysed…

General uptightness in the name of projecting professional competency:

The idea and intention of setting boundaries in therapy was set up for the sake of the clients feeling of comfort and sense of security. But, when it comes to a point where these characteristics have defined the very nature of therapists themselves, we have to start examining who’s needs are being served. Who is gaining? And how are the potential therapy clients being effected?


An uptight attitude will not create more trust and connection – It creates more taboo!

Commonly, therapists who have their own websites or utilize the social networks are very cautious not to write anything personal about their own personal lives. In some cases, looking at a therapist’s website, it is so bewildering, so academic, belletristic (for lack of a better word), it’s almost as if they don’t want you to understand what they are talking about.

But unlike when one visits an accountant, therapy clients actually need their therapist to be human and personal.

If therapists would only change their ‘popular approach’  and not be afraid to publicly express vulnerability, to project something that at least resembles who they are, people would begin to be more trusting of them. There is no reason that seeing a therapist should have to feel like one is going to consult with G-d himself.

Clients need to understand that in as much as therapists need to project, that they (the therapists) are not in a position of power or control; they are simply there attempting to create a quality space and environment for the client to make change possible. In traditional therapy this theme is something often talked about but in practice, this is not what clients are perceiving.

Just as an idea, a vision, wouldn’t it be great if therapists in general could make it a common practice of cracking a joke every once in a while about their own industry …and really there is so much to laugh about. Therapists could stop taking it personally when people joke about the therapy industry and instead laugh along. It would indeed be so much more refreshing and people could feel more okay and more relaxed about the idea of speaking to a therapist.

I know this is never going to happen!  But for those few that this does make some sort of sense to…

There is no doubt that being and acting your true vulnerable self works better to create a general client rapport than any rapport building ‘technique’.

We cannot solve the problems of stigma by simply emphasizing on the importance of mental health and creating more awareness, that in itself is not what will get people to feel more comfortable about speaking to therapists. Only therapists can stand a chance to get people to feel more comfortable with therapists.

By allowing people to see therapists as people who have their own challenges to face at times, therapists will subsequently be making themselves more available for sufferers. They may or may not gain the same respect they had gained previously but they will certainly be able to accomplish far more in their role as helping people.

To sum it all up…

Raising further mental ‘awareness’ will not get rid of the stigma, making mental health and therapy less taboo and unmentionable will!

So…for the first joke!

How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?


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Having become well recognized in the international arena of NLP especially in the areas of children’s related issues, he frequently receives referrals from local Doctors for children who have issues related with anger, trauma, Asperger’s, PDD and anxiety. Menachem has presented at international seminars and webinars on the topics of ‘dealing with children’s fears and anxiety’. As a therapist, many of the adult clients looking to be treated by him are those who are having difficulties and challenges associated with O.C.D, anxiety, phobias and depression. About just over half the clients seen are children aged from five and up. Some of the popular issues would be ADHD, extreme anger and frustration, low self-esteem, self-confidence, phobias, social anxiety, general anxiety, eating related issues, insomnia and bed wetting. Menachem’s background training is in Neuro Linguistic Programming (Master Practitioner of NLP), Hypnotherapy (U.K certified Master Hypnotherapist and Ericksonian Hypnotherapist) , Integral Eye Movement Therapy (Advanced Practitioner of IEMT) and is also a facilitator of the ‘Metaphors of Movement’ approach.

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